Sunday, December 12, 2004

All I wanted to do was reply to someone! And now I have a blog!

So I saw this movie last week, National Treasure. Yep, that one. I liked it! I liked it a lot. Every review I read panned it like.... something you pan. But I liked it, it was a fun action-adventure film.

Which brings me to this critique of most movie ciritcs. Most of them are unabashed independant fans. It's the Donnie Darkos/Ingmar Bergman/Wes Anderson/what-have-you crowd. These are the guys that pretty much get paid to watch a wide swath of films and quite happily point the finger and go "Crap!Crap!Crap!" at anything that doesn't challenge them on a deeply profound level that most of us might find faintly pretentious.

Here's the thing. You don't bloody send a die-hand Blockbuster fan to review The Straight Story by David Lynch, a beautiful moving film about an old man who visits his sick brother across country on a motor-mower, you'd get something like:
"Oh that was the WORST thing I've ever seen! Mate. I didn't see ONE machine-gun in the entire film, no one got shot! No one got butchered! Here's the thing see, the movie was about this guy that goes across country on a lawnmower... I kid you not, a lawnmower! Now how many high-speed chases are you going to get out of riding a lawnmower? And not even a souped-up one! See what they shoulda done, is have the old man take the lawnmower to "Pimp My Ride", get a nice turbo-charged engine on that mutha with some big-ass mags and watch that John Deere mow down all those country hicks with blood splattering everywhere, and hey! Maybe give the old man a chainsaw for a hand! Now that would be totally awesome."

So I ask you, why on earth would you get the Indy crowd to review the unashamedly fun blockbusters?


Blogger Brian Cronin said...

I don't buy it.

It's almost like the critiqueproof comic book.

The critiqueproof movie, I guess.

"It's not good? Well, it doesn't HAVE to be! It's a blockbuster!"

If you think National Treasure is good, then fine, I have no beef with that.

But I presume you have some reasons as to WHY it was good, right?

December 12, 2004 at 6:41 PM  
Blogger Stony said...

I hear what you're saying, Brian.

However, I'm not saying it should be critiqueproof, merely that as you would have an Independant film reviewed by Indy lovers who know the difference between something profound or something pretentious, why not have seperate reviewers who at least enjoy Blockbusters and know what is appreciable and what is completely gratuitous in the Blockbuster range

December 12, 2004 at 6:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think he does make a fair point about critics. I think to effectively criticize, you need to have both a knowledge of what you are looking at, and an appreciation for it.


December 12, 2004 at 7:01 PM  
Blogger Brian Cronin said...

I think you are completely devoid of shit, sir.

I also think that there should be no such animal as a movie reviewer who can't appreciate a good film, blockbuster or indy.

December 12, 2004 at 7:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"So I ask you, why on earth would you get the Indy crowd to review the unashamedly fun blockbusters?"

So you would start a blog to bitch about it. And it worked! Man, I bet your face is red.

--Brad Curran

December 12, 2004 at 7:04 PM  
Blogger Ronald Bryan said...

I agree with Stony to an extent. Critics who are unfair to the bigger movies need to think different when they are reviewing. But I did read something on it once, where the reviewer said that the main reason he did not think that highly of large action movies was because he saw so many of them in a year. And the smaller, independent movies allowed him to see somethign different. Still, in a perfect world, that would not affect his reviewing of a movie.

December 12, 2004 at 7:20 PM  

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